Infidels

It will never stop. The moral duty of every thiest to try and convert us athiests. To make sure we don't go to hell. To make sure we don't rot for eternity the way we have rotten on earth. They despise the way we have left our morals behind and have become devout satanists or any other fancy religion someone or the other has come up with by now. They pity us. They laugh because the west has not yet rotten thier souls and stripped them off their morals.
'everyone goes through this phase. you'll be alright when you grow up.'
Notice the tone. you'll be 'alright' when you 'grow up'. So right now we are mentaly handicapped and undeveloped children.
'where did the trees come from? or this earth?'
I'm no botanist or physicist. If it's too complex today, it may not be tomorrow. Throughout my life, i have learned how to differentiate between lounge chit chat and hard facts. I'm a politics student after all. Call me a realist at heart. If we start to have faith, then anything can be real. The distinction between not real and real siezes to exist. All human knowledge to date becomes void. I'm no philosopher either so i'll stop here.
One does not become an athiest because he has unlocked all the secrets of life and has given it the name 'nature' instead of God. Athiests don't know everything. They're human if you look real hard and deep. They look at the world from another perspective and make a guess. A calculated one however.
I have met many different types of athiests in my life. There are those who become athiests because they're angry with God for treating them too harshly.
'How can God let this happen to me. It is because he doesnt exist.'
I personally feel ups and downs are a part of life. Life is not fair. Never was. Never will be. Face it. God never had anything to do with it.
Then there are those who oppose their religion particularly or other religions aswell. But rarely.
Mainly due to lack of enough knowledge of other religions to effectively oppose it. That statement does not, by any means, imply that they have sufficient knowledge about thier own religion!
'islam descriminates against women. It's too rigid and resistant to change. It breeds extremism...'
The allegations may be true but with religions, specially islam, anything can be justified or unjustified due to various sources of islamic law. Interpretation and translation are two problematic issues which are very difficult to solve. Most athiests consider their lack of faith 'a phase' in later life because it's easy to change back. When these athiests decide to take a deeper look, the peices fall into place and they realise they had been wrong about their religion all along. Only because anything can be a matter of interpretation.
I refuse to discuss the ones who are athiests because it's cool. It will pollute my essay. I would, however, like to address the problem of stereotyping here. I have been called 'trying to be cool' by many. Maybe because i did feel being an athiest was cool. However, i didnt actually become an athiest because it was cool. I turned athiest before i even knew what cool was.
I avoid telling people about my scandelous beliefs. I add in a 'mashallah, inshallah, allah kere, shuker hai' to make sure no one notices. I don't want people to tell me i'll 'grow up'.
I'm an athiest who has no particular issues with any religion. They may be perfect, which they are not. They may be a source of inner peace and tranquility. They may be a source of law which does not even require an active coercive force. It is just a costless voice in your head telling you what to do and what to avoid. I have never denied that. Some people claim that religions cause conflict. In my opinion, a religion is just another group. As is a country, a race, a sex. Groups compete with each other. It's human nature. Eradication of groups completely is impossible. So groups are all the same when it comes to conflict.
One must feel that i'm defending my thiest beliefs instead of athiest but that's not correct. I'm an athiest because i feel the idea of God is a lump of sugar which helps you swallow the bitter pill of life. No matter how easy it makes life for you, it is still a lie. God is still Santa claus. I have learned that Man feels he needs God to live positively. If it works for you, by all means believe. Athiests are not out on a mission to convert the world, unlike some thiest religions. I on the other hand, dont need God. I feel i'm rational and can make distinctions between right an wrong. I do not need the prospect of heaven or the dread of hell to make me do what needs to be done. I do what is right for myself.
Man has not yet reached a conclusion whether God exists or not. I'm sure even if they find out, they'll never let the world know. Considering the chaos it would cause. So since the arguments are more or less balanced, both have a 50/50 chance. What difference does it make which side you're on. In the end the chance is still 50%. So why not believe in something that makes sense to you and helps you lead a balanced life.
I would like to add in a question or two to the thiests who say 'being an athiest is easy because you get a free hand to do what ever the heck you want'.
Is it easy to know that no one is out there looking after you?
Is it easy to do the right thing when you know there will be no reward or punishment?
And most importantly, Is it easy to believe that death will mark the end of everything you ever were?

Reality check

I love how the bent branches of old trees touch the surface of the water. They leave traces which disappear as they move away. The water adjusts itself quickly and the ripples seize to exist. Rocks and boulders disturb water as well but somehow the mere subtleness of a branch forces me to stare. They somehow remind me of myself. I’m just a ripple which will disappear before anyone gets the time to notice or care.
I wonder, like many before me, whether anyone will care. I know the answer but for the sake of a moments ignorant bliss I let myself pretend. I feel ‘truth’ is an old whore. Every ones busy dressing her up so she looks presentable, even attractive. She dazzles and amazes. Every one’s willing to make love to her. She’s just an old whore to me.
So many people have died. People like you. People like me. There comes a point when one says to himself ‘what the hell is going on’. A time when lies are wrapped up in ribbons and delivered to your doorstep. All you have to do is keep your eyes closed and feed them to your brain. They taste great. So many people will never stop and say ‘hey! Wait a minute.’ A time when you feel like a soldier who doesn’t know the way to the battlefield. That time is here.
I sit and stare. The muscles of my tongue have grown stiff and cold. They’re dying. I don’t wish to save them. My replies merely consist of a nod of the head now. There is nothing to say. I only know how to be quietly angry now. Some things in life are so outrageous that one is forced into complete and utter silence. A disturbingly loud one. I hope no one can hear it.
I’m torn in two. God is out of thread.

Here we are once more..torn between what we are and what we should be..what we have done and what was supposed to be done..between the one we love and the one who loves us...
i regret the time i spent waiting for someone i expected to come out of you..to break this shell of insecurity and carelessness..to help me have faith in you..so that the world could see what i saw..and right when you, as promised, changed just to make me happier, i turned away..eventhough in the debths of my heart i knew you cared..and now, thinking about everything you do and did, aggrevates me..and yet i'm always impatiently waiting for any news from your side..to know that you're alright..i know i can hate you, in time...
I have a comforting voice in my head..the only thing that comforts now..'you know you're right'
It's never about what you are obsessively working for..the whole point of pushing yourself is to achieve something..nomatter how irrelivent the reward may seem to everyone around you..I'ts about proving something to yourself..I don't care how big a nerd i may seem at this point in time..i know i want this.

!!

Aernt we surrounded by confused faggots..who control our lives..from the head of the country to the head of the house..I'm disappointed and heart broken and no words can make me feel otherwise..It sure is easy to complain.
and tommorow we'll all forget..but why..are we not strong enough?..somethings are supposed to haunt us for the rest of our lives.
You failed to protect me..I'ts hard to believe that you forget so easily..that social image means so much more to you..that i have exceeded your expectations and yet i am no 1.
Yes! i admit..it is my fault..i spoiled you..you were mine..thus i was supposed to choose what you were to me..you were everything at one point in time..but nothing at another..you were wrong, but were you wrong to me..i'm so proud! i stood up for myself..I can let go, but should i?
I cannot trust anyone..or maybe i trust too much..I cannot stand anyone for more then a year*.
*conditions applied

I'm so indecisive...It almost sucks ass..emphasis on almost..my friends claim that i used to be so much cooler..with my outrageous vocabulary and 'i can kick your ass' attitude and the 'cool' music that i listened to..it's strange how priorities change..how everything changes..barely for the better..and you strive to find an optimistic view point for it...so you can look back and say, everything happens for a reason.
i hate my optimism...i never learn do i?
They just come and go like men...all men are birds..minus the grace!
I feel like shit right now...exams i assume...don't hav anything to look forward to anymore...end up having too much faith in things that just can't satisfy you..i'm so naive, its not even funny..well not eaxacly naive..hmm
I'm just not a party girl..i do'nt like going out..i don't like doing outrageous thngs in public..it's a disorder, really! and i'm okay with that..i love bieng in my own shell..i love minding my own business, as long as everyone around me does so aswell..i don't like too much attention.
i'm such an unsatisfied bitch...
blehh!