Here we are once more..torn between what we are and what we should be..what we have done and what was supposed to be done..between the one we love and the one who loves us...
i regret the time i spent waiting for someone i expected to come out of you..to break this shell of insecurity and carelessness..to help me have faith in you..so that the world could see what i saw..and right when you, as promised, changed just to make me happier, i turned away..eventhough in the debths of my heart i knew you cared..and now, thinking about everything you do and did, aggrevates me..and yet i'm always impatiently waiting for any news from your side..to know that you're alright..i know i can hate you, in time...
I have a comforting voice in my head..the only thing that comforts now..'you know you're right'
It's never about what you are obsessively working for..the whole point of pushing yourself is to achieve something..nomatter how irrelivent the reward may seem to everyone around you..I'ts about proving something to yourself..I don't care how big a nerd i may seem at this point in time..i know i want this.

!!

Aernt we surrounded by confused faggots..who control our lives..from the head of the country to the head of the house..I'm disappointed and heart broken and no words can make me feel otherwise..It sure is easy to complain.
and tommorow we'll all forget..but why..are we not strong enough?..somethings are supposed to haunt us for the rest of our lives.
You failed to protect me..I'ts hard to believe that you forget so easily..that social image means so much more to you..that i have exceeded your expectations and yet i am no 1.
Yes! i admit..it is my fault..i spoiled you..you were mine..thus i was supposed to choose what you were to me..you were everything at one point in time..but nothing at another..you were wrong, but were you wrong to me..i'm so proud! i stood up for myself..I can let go, but should i?
I cannot trust anyone..or maybe i trust too much..I cannot stand anyone for more then a year*.
*conditions applied

I'm so indecisive...It almost sucks ass..emphasis on almost..my friends claim that i used to be so much cooler..with my outrageous vocabulary and 'i can kick your ass' attitude and the 'cool' music that i listened to..it's strange how priorities change..how everything changes..barely for the better..and you strive to find an optimistic view point for it...so you can look back and say, everything happens for a reason.
i hate my optimism...i never learn do i?
They just come and go like men...all men are birds..minus the grace!
I feel like shit right now...exams i assume...don't hav anything to look forward to anymore...end up having too much faith in things that just can't satisfy you..i'm so naive, its not even funny..well not eaxacly naive..hmm
I'm just not a party girl..i do'nt like going out..i don't like doing outrageous thngs in public..it's a disorder, really! and i'm okay with that..i love bieng in my own shell..i love minding my own business, as long as everyone around me does so aswell..i don't like too much attention.
i'm such an unsatisfied bitch...
blehh!