After two tears of training for debates, we realized two weeks ago that there was no point if we didn't go to competitions. The academic year thus started with LUMS IV 2010.
In the afternoon on Friday, the two teams assembled. The usual enthusiasm was evident. No one had read any newspaper in the previous week, I had forgotten hoe my debates notebook and our only resource were two TIME magazine copies that Saman had found in the trash. While Nada located the driver and the car, we read those. North Korea was facing new sanctions from the US and china had become the 2nd largest economy in the world. That was enough for the day. After Osheen prepared for the long trip to LUMS with 10 Bubble Your Name chewing gums, 3 fruit juices and a bottle of water, we were off. On the way we discussed every one's non existent love affairs with some male debaters we could name, with the usual loud and clear 'fuck' and 'sex' for the driver to hear.
Upon arriving, we were dropped in the parking lot. We stood in the sun, acting like tourists, even though three out of the four of us had spend significant amount of time on the campus. Luckily we found a KC teacher there (weird I know). As she happily approached us from afar, I quickly narrated a fart joke that involved that very same teacher. Only I laughed. Apparently no one finds fart jokes funny. Not even if they are cracked in the staffroom.
Three hours and 5.5 million perverted jokes later, we were given the topic.
THW allow political parties to designate certain pre-election clams as binding promise, the breaking of which would trigger immediate free elections.
Total prep time was 15 minutes. 6 and a half minutes we spent trying to note the long topic down. For the next 3 and a half minutes we looked for the room (which was actually a closet) and so prepared our case in 5 minutes. We got third and after that we were free. I hung out with a friend and discussed the usual girl stuff about evolutionary biology and the co-relation between intelligence and aptitude.
Early the next morning the second round started.
THW give foreign residents the right to vote in general elections.
The only issue was that the only research i had done the previous night was how good the KFC hotshots taste. The debate was about foreign residents, I talked about immigrants. I had a bad case, plus the unpleasant FC boys were standing in their seats and laughing loudly at every word I said. Can be distracting. Anyway we got 4th that time. Sorry, my bad.
Third round began after 2 slices of pizza.
THW allow doctors to actively lie to their patients in order to create or augment a placebo effect.
Finally I got some form back. Mid way I even got angry and started pointing at those cute little aitchisonian boys who're just so annoying with their pink faces, annoying interjections and simplistic arguments that one could thrash but can't.
With the fourth round came the real fun.
THBT the answer to democracy is more democracy.
Now mischief was in the air and I decided, lets play wit the topic because we're totally cool awesome experienced debaters. After some outside help (ahem), we decided, lets define democracy as free trade......FREE TRADE!!!!!
With a blank page I sat, thinking how to go through with this. Apparently the judge had been looking for us for the past 10 minutes. He found us, scolded us and called us in the room. I entered with a blank page. Inside the room, I took the only line of argument we had and broke it in two. Off I went to speak, being the opening speaker of the debate. As soon as i said 'and we define democracy as free trade', the whole closet, i mean room, made that 'KC does it again' face. Our partner team almost fainted while the opposition couldn't help but laugh out loud. I completed my 7 minutes and sat down. On came LGS kinder garden and gave us a definitional challenge. I sat back with a big smile and thought to myself 'now i will enjoy this debate'. The fainting GIKI-A team kept whispering to me 'you have killed us', 'your case is utterly flawed' 'why did you have to drag us down with you' hahahhaa. Man that was hilarious. Anyway the new definition was that democracy is a democratic form of government in Pakistan. On came LSE-D.
'Ladies and gentlemen, This is a fan. A fan is like a cricket ball. and a cricket ball is like democracy because it's for the people, by the people and to the people and essentially that was the case presented by KC.'
LOL I mean shit! I laughed so much my guts came out. Anyway, I didn't like the case they prepared but I was in no position, NO POSITION, to say anything. They claimed Pakistan needed a socialist dictator like Lenin and Castro.
There was no critique so we went off. We could here people talking here and there 'free trade? wtf?', 'oh my god def challenge?', 'who? KC-B?'. So yeah but anyway I found the whole thing to be really funny. Couldn't hide from the coach too long. He didn't cut off our pinkies and hang us upside down though. So all ended well. well..kind of..yeah.
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